Hispanic Heritage Month | A Complex Mexican Immigrant

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Posted: October 19, 2024

This past Tuesday marked the end of Hispanic Heritage Month (September 15 - October 15), a time when our communities and their ancestors from Latin America, Mexico, Central and South America and Spain were recognized and celebrated. In addition to honoring the professional veterans in the community, Life Point Counseling had the privilege of meeting Dulce Torres, MS, LPC-IT. A promising young mental health professional who is currently transitioning from her full-time position as a Forensic Specialist with WI Community Services to providing counseling services as a Psychotherapist with Nurse1 Staffing, LLC, out of Milwaukee County. During our time with Torres she reflected on her journey as a Mexican immigrant and her complex identity within the Hispanic community. She shared anecdotes of self-acceptance through embracing her Mexican heritage, overcoming identity challenges, and her journey in personal, professional, and academic life. She also disclosed that she is currently pursuing a PhD and is in the process of formulating her dissertation. She hopes to address the political divide with the desire for universal care. Read on to learn how Torres' family supports and motivates her and why she believes perspective shifts are important to making a positive difference.

How do you identify with the Hispanic Community? Torres | I identify as a Mexican immigrant. I came over when I was a year old. Though, I feel like I never fit in. I struggled with my identity a lot. I wasn't born here. Spanish is my first language. I didn't start speaking English until I went to school around five years old. Going to elementary school was really great. It was a brand-new school. I had really good experiences. It was diverse and fun. But it wasn't until middle school when I started struggling with my identity. I went to a predominantly black school that closed down the next year, so it didn't go well. My sister had gone there six years prior. My dad enrolled me there because he thought it was going to be the same for me. But I wanted to go be with my friends from my community, that I knew and grew up with. So, middle school was different for me, because I had never been a minority anywhere, even though I was with other minorities with a few other Hispanic kids -and that is a whole culture itself! That's the culture I was going through in my formative years. The black community, my friends, who and how I spoke, how I dressed and what I listened to. I felt rejected by my mom because she had very closed-minded ideals and beliefs at the time, she's not like that anymore, but at the time, in middle school, she was always, why do you wear this? Why do you wear that? Why do you like this music? She and my dad were the ones who put me in that school. That was my community, it was my reality until eighth grade, when the school shut down. Then I went to a different middle school that was more diverse. They had bilingual and monolingual classes. The bilingual had all the Hispanic kids. I was monolingual at first but switched to bilingual. It’s weird but I felt even more segregated from the other Hispanic kids. The monolingual was mostly made up of black students, and I felt like I was in the black community and culture. That's what I knew, what I liked, and was comfortable in? It was also weird making friends. There was one kid that would bully me so much where I would cry. I was so sad; he would call me awful things like taco... It was really damaging. It seeded this thing, I hated being Mexican, because it was always a joke. Super stereotypical stuff, Speedy Gonzales, and other really ugly things. Also, I feel like my mom didn't instill any of our traditions in us. I went through that whole time thinking; I don't fit in it. Even when I did start hanging out with the Hispanic kids and other Mexicans that were born here they were more Mexican than me. And so then even in that, it was like, Okay, now I'm a fake Mexican. I felt like I didn't fit in, couldn't even be accepted by my own people. As I got older, more mature, and went to college I learned to accept myself and love the fact that I am a Mexican immigrant. I'm very proud of my heritage and my family.

"I hated being Mexican, because it was always a joke."

Tell me about your work in the field and how your identity influences your role as a mental health professional? Torres | For the past 5 years I've been a forensic specialist with WI Community Services. I work with NGI (not guilty by reason of insanity) clients. I help with meds, assist with transportation to appointments, provide support during appointments, and assist with services and resources to help with the transition from institution into the community with the goal for independence. But I recently started working as a psychotherapist and ISD (individual skill development) provider. I'm in the middle transitioning roles and love it so much. I feel like I’m actually doing something. Honestly, at one point, I didn't want to be a therapist anymore. I came to a realization that there are other therapists out there not following the rules and doing more harm than good. But at some point, I stopped being angry and realized I can do something about that. I can be one of the therapists that actually does good. Like, “I can do stuff! I also have the ability to influence while following the rules, having good ethics and boundaries.” With my experience in the past 5 years and now my current clients I realized that a lot of minorities in Milwaukee, have similar experiences as me, beyond being Mexican or Hispanic, any minorities that had similar experiences. And I love that because I know I wish I had someone that understood what I was going through. And so being able to do that as a psychotherapist who is a minority, as a woman, it helps me, maybe not Mexican specifically, but ability to relate and build a trusting therapeutic relationship. There can be power in self-disclosure, if used appropriately.

"...I know I wish I had someone that understood what I was going through"

How has your culture impacted your life outside of work? Torres | I would say that it impacts me in being able to be brave enough to advocate for myself and others, being able to empathize with similar experiences of identity. I can relate to it in some way or another. Knowing what that feels like and now being able to work clients as well as impact other people in everyday situations outside of work.. with my friends, waiting in line at the market, or my mom, because then my mom goes and talks to her friends, hopefully providing new perspectives, more understanding and acceptance across our communities and subcultures.

"... when I start to feel guilty after being shamed for my education... “You don't think you're better than them. They think you're better than them.”

Why do you want to go back to school? Torres | I'm literally doing everything I said I didn't want to do but I'm doing it anyway. A little foreshadowing? [laughter] Right now I'm working on formulating my dissertation to apply for my PhD at Marquette University. If I get in, my overall goal is helping people feel happier and healthier, however that may look to them. I also hope to teach emotional health in some capacity. I haven't figured out how I want to this, but I know it's needed. We have a sick society. I sincerely believe if we were gentler and accepting of each other, we would have a lot less problems. There needs to be a collective shift in mindset and perspective. My anger about what's happening in the world right now fuels a sense of urgency to contribute my efforts to make change. Parts of me want to create a disturbance, scream, show my anger but I stop myself. But then what can I do, right? There's something my husband said to me that I love. I have gotten pushback and negative comments from my community about my education. I try to remember what he (husband) said when I start to feel guilty after being shamed for my education and wanting to get my PhD, “You don't think you're better than them. They think you're better than them.” This small shift really helps me get out of my head. I love my husband so much he's my number one support.

"... prioritizing men and their emotional health"

What do you believe are the unmet needs in Hispanic culture? Torres | I think about the culture of machismo and the harm it does not only to the Hispanic culture but all cultures. There is this pressure to be the man, often, cold, strong, unfailing and logical with added macho expectations. I think specifically for the Mexican Hispanic community would be prioritizing men and their emotional health, then helping build healthier relationships, attachments, and decrease and prevent violence.

"I also want to decolonize our life."

Is there anything about your Mexican culture you want to pass down to your kids? Torres | I hope to pass down everything about my culture! Because my mom didn't do that for us, and sometimes I feel resentful of that. It really impacted my identity struggle of not feeling accepted. I grew up here (United States). At home, my mom would keep up with traditions but didn't really cultivate it within our family. My husband is Nicaraguan and I'm Mexican, there's so much culture in both and neither of us grew up in it in a values type of way, not really immersed. I feel like there's probably a lot of minorities who also experienced that. We all just want to feel connected and accepted, and I want my kids to have that experience, so yeah, I want to pass down all of it. I also want to decolonize our life. There's a lot of things that are material and commercial. I want our family to reduce waste. My husband and I don't want to buy unnecessary things the earth has already given to us for free. I want my kids to appreciate nature, be able to appreciate what we can do for ourselves and appreciate the concept of community. We're so separated from that. My one daughter, who use to struggled in school. There's an element that differs her from peers. I tell her, your ancestors are different from your peers' ancestors. Your ancestors are part of the earth. I call my daughter, my little fairy. She's already embracing her connection to her ancestors and nature. When my husband tells me things like during his walk with the with the kids the other day they said, "Look at that tree! Mom would love it, we have to take a picture for her!" I get really excited, and I want them to also be excited. Appreciate what the world is giving us.